last blog!!!!!!!!!!!

The difference between my first rough draft and my revised essay was not that different. I could of changed a lot of things for the second revision, but I'm satisfied with my final copy. The remarks that the reviewer made were almost the same to the first peer review. I enjoyed the class very much and hope everyone has a lovely summer!

blog #20

My essay has gotten very far considering i only had an outline for the first peer review. i think it came out pretty good. i think it is better then any of my other essays i have written for this class i think. :)

Blog Post # 20

My final essay is finally finished. The first review we had with the essay, i had to make quite a bit of changes. My essay topic was Hurricane Katrina. I wrote a little bit too much on the topic, instead of the opposing argument. I revised the essay and brought it in for a econd review from my peers. They thought it was great. I wrote a little less about the hurricane effects and more about people's opinions, and also elaborated on two readings from The Signs of Life. Im glad im finally finished, and feel confident. This was a great class = )

My Essay

The progress of my essay is coming along very well. I still have to work on my conclusion and I will be done with my essay shortly after. I feel the revision I have made will enhace the essay dramatically.

Post Blog # 20- Reviews

Last blog!!! =-)
The reviews I received on 5/8/07 were very similar to the ones I gotten back on 5/10/07. On one of the review sheets on 5/8/07 stated that I needed to put more work on describing, relating, and evaluating each of the sources I used. In addition, I gotten a respond saying that I need to relate my facts to the thesis of the essay and had minor grammar errors that needed to be fixed. On the other review sheet, dated on 5/8/07, I gotten better responds; however, these two reviews from two different people were very similar (the ones on 5/8/07). When I looked at the 3 different sheets(2 on 5/8 and 1 one 5/10), the basic comments were close and there were not many differences.
Contrary to the reviews on 5/8, the review I received on 5/10 was (since there was only one review sheet) slightly different (but there were difference comments). On the 5/10 paper, the two strongest elements of the essay comments, see if my argument was clear throughout the essay comments, and what other soruces I incorporated comments were different. The second peer review sheet was, I believe, fully explained more of what I needed to include in the essay and what was correct. In other words, the second review (received on 5/10) was, I think, better explained and clear of what was right or wrong. When I read the comments, I had a better understanding of what the reviewer was saying and that basically the main differences between the three review sheets.
For my essay, when I will start doing the final draft, I will delete some facts (not much)because I feel I put a little too much. Also, I will try to add a paragraph saying how people view the Statue of Liberty or make a stronger arugment saying how people feel about the statue. The changes I will correct are the size of the title/work cited, fix my grammar structure, delete information that is irrelavent, change my meanings of the sentences, and single space my citations (instead of double space). Also, on the "new rough drafts" I added a paragraph about how the Statue of Liberty represent a good characteristic of American Culture and how the government is keeping an eye on the artifact. So the basic idea is that I will try to explain more on how The Lady Liberty represents American Culture, how different people view it, and include great details!! The final draft will be better and feel it will relate to the topic more. Done!

Blog Post 19

I worked on my essay a little bit today. I got some good corrections to make, for example shortening the effects of hurricane katrina and adding a little more about the opposing arguement. Right now, im still working on my rough draft and works cited page.. I should be able to finish it all up over the weekend.

Post Blog # 19

So far I did the rough draft. Now I am going to look at the peer review sheets and the comments made by the peer reviewers. I will maybe add a pargraph of showing how The Statue of Liberty can be an "informative arugment" artifact on the society. Also, I think I am going to delete some facts because I feel I have too much (as stated on my peer review sheet). In addition, I am going to revise the essay I have now and make a new "rough draft" (Revise the old rough draft and on Thursday, bring in the "new rough draft). I have all my work cited and I have used only the information from the variety of websites (the secondary sources- six sources). In addtion, I will explain each sources I used and describe, relate, and evaluate each of them more clearly (stated on my peer review sheet). I should be done with the NEW ROUGH DRAFT by tommorrow.