last blog!!!!!!!!!!!

The difference between my first rough draft and my revised essay was not that different. I could of changed a lot of things for the second revision, but I'm satisfied with my final copy. The remarks that the reviewer made were almost the same to the first peer review. I enjoyed the class very much and hope everyone has a lovely summer!

blog #20

My essay has gotten very far considering i only had an outline for the first peer review. i think it came out pretty good. i think it is better then any of my other essays i have written for this class i think. :)

Blog Post # 20

My final essay is finally finished. The first review we had with the essay, i had to make quite a bit of changes. My essay topic was Hurricane Katrina. I wrote a little bit too much on the topic, instead of the opposing argument. I revised the essay and brought it in for a econd review from my peers. They thought it was great. I wrote a little less about the hurricane effects and more about people's opinions, and also elaborated on two readings from The Signs of Life. Im glad im finally finished, and feel confident. This was a great class = )

My Essay

The progress of my essay is coming along very well. I still have to work on my conclusion and I will be done with my essay shortly after. I feel the revision I have made will enhace the essay dramatically.

Post Blog # 20- Reviews

Last blog!!! =-)
The reviews I received on 5/8/07 were very similar to the ones I gotten back on 5/10/07. On one of the review sheets on 5/8/07 stated that I needed to put more work on describing, relating, and evaluating each of the sources I used. In addition, I gotten a respond saying that I need to relate my facts to the thesis of the essay and had minor grammar errors that needed to be fixed. On the other review sheet, dated on 5/8/07, I gotten better responds; however, these two reviews from two different people were very similar (the ones on 5/8/07). When I looked at the 3 different sheets(2 on 5/8 and 1 one 5/10), the basic comments were close and there were not many differences.
Contrary to the reviews on 5/8, the review I received on 5/10 was (since there was only one review sheet) slightly different (but there were difference comments). On the 5/10 paper, the two strongest elements of the essay comments, see if my argument was clear throughout the essay comments, and what other soruces I incorporated comments were different. The second peer review sheet was, I believe, fully explained more of what I needed to include in the essay and what was correct. In other words, the second review (received on 5/10) was, I think, better explained and clear of what was right or wrong. When I read the comments, I had a better understanding of what the reviewer was saying and that basically the main differences between the three review sheets.
For my essay, when I will start doing the final draft, I will delete some facts (not much)because I feel I put a little too much. Also, I will try to add a paragraph saying how people view the Statue of Liberty or make a stronger arugment saying how people feel about the statue. The changes I will correct are the size of the title/work cited, fix my grammar structure, delete information that is irrelavent, change my meanings of the sentences, and single space my citations (instead of double space). Also, on the "new rough drafts" I added a paragraph about how the Statue of Liberty represent a good characteristic of American Culture and how the government is keeping an eye on the artifact. So the basic idea is that I will try to explain more on how The Lady Liberty represents American Culture, how different people view it, and include great details!! The final draft will be better and feel it will relate to the topic more. Done!

Blog Post 19

I worked on my essay a little bit today. I got some good corrections to make, for example shortening the effects of hurricane katrina and adding a little more about the opposing arguement. Right now, im still working on my rough draft and works cited page.. I should be able to finish it all up over the weekend.

Post Blog # 19

So far I did the rough draft. Now I am going to look at the peer review sheets and the comments made by the peer reviewers. I will maybe add a pargraph of showing how The Statue of Liberty can be an "informative arugment" artifact on the society. Also, I think I am going to delete some facts because I feel I have too much (as stated on my peer review sheet). In addition, I am going to revise the essay I have now and make a new "rough draft" (Revise the old rough draft and on Thursday, bring in the "new rough draft). I have all my work cited and I have used only the information from the variety of websites (the secondary sources- six sources). In addtion, I will explain each sources I used and describe, relate, and evaluate each of them more clearly (stated on my peer review sheet). I should be done with the NEW ROUGH DRAFT by tommorrow.

blog #18

My artifact is 9/11, I watched a movie about it and it was very interesting how long the planning of it was really going on....kind of scary how we didnt catch on sooner.

blog # 18

The progress of my essay is coming along very well. I have found a lot of information on my topic 'McDonald's', and my rough draft is finished for tomorrow. I still need to add a little bit more information into the essay for my final copy.

Blog post # 18

I chose Hurricane Katrina as the artifact for my essay. I used the article from Janet Gates in our books, about the red and blue states, in my essay. I wrote about how the hurricane started and the effects of it. I gave an opposing view from a writer who stated that the United States spends billions on saving Katrina victims, and bombing the Iraqis, yet Africa has millions of starving people who we won't help out. This is probably because they have nothing to offer us. For example, we can benefit from IRaq because of the oil.....still writing my essay..

Post Blog #18- Update entry on the progress of my essay

So far, I found a lot of information on my artifact and still have a little more to find. I am going to use my encyclopedias at home; however, I started to highlight the important information while Iam reading. In terms of writing, I started to write my rough draft. I am offically on paragraph four. So far, I found lots of info. on my artifact and will continue to find a little more. So, basically right now, I am working on my rough draft. Will be completed by the evening of today.

Blog #17

I chose to write my essay about 9/11 because it had a big affect on american culture. I am also going to tie in some of what we talked about the flag. I chose this becuase my aunt was there in the building that day, she got out but it was still something that everyone can relate to.

Blog post # 17

For my fifth essay i chose Hurricane Katrina as my topic. I am going to write about the natural disaster, and how it shows the values of American culture. The way that we care for others, and help those in need is very important. Then I'll probably take an opposing view of the topic -maybe- how the country in Africa we didn't help them out when they needed it because there was nothing there we really needed... we let them starve to death.
For example, we benefit from going into Iraq because of the oil.

Topic for essay

My topic for essay #5 is Mc Donald's. I feel like this is an excellent choice of a representative for American Culture and look forward to working on this essay. Sorry I stole your topic Mrs. Dotterman, but it was too good ! :-)

Blog #16

In Alfred Lubrano's article "The Shock of Education: How College Corrupts" its about that posive and negative's of going to college. I dont feel that going to college has changed much. I work more now then I did when i was in High School. I never really hung out wiht my family but we are all still close. I still hang out wiht a few on the people I graduated with, but most of them are away so its kind of hard.

blog # 16

Alfred Lubrano tells us many disadvantages on going to college affecting you and your family's relationship. I feel like this is very true. I am a full time employee, and go to school on the side also. I have such a busy schedule with work, school, and studying that where it limits the time where I can see my family, friends, and boyfriend. In the positive side, going to school raises my education level and my goal to finish school and start a good career. Sometimes the people I love get mad that that cant see me as much, but there is nothing i can do about it, because I have to put myself first.

Blog Post #16

Alfred Lubrano chose an interesting title for his passage presented in Signs of Life in the USA, which is "The Shock of Education: How College Corrupts." When leaving Highschool and going to college, you must move on in every way. You will part from friends and family as you grow. College opens a new world of ideas, a world of loyalty to friends and family, money making, marrying, personal fufillment, social obligation, and the pursuit of knowledge. Lubrano explains that theres a positive side, and negative side to this. So much will change between a parent and child, in the years of college. Every bit of learning takes you further from your parents. Although you are setting yourself up for growing up and real life at the same time. Lubrano basically explains the "dark side" of the American Story.

Blog Post # 17- Posting my topic for essay #5

The artifact of culture I decided to write about, for the fifth essay, is "The Statue of Liberty" (It might change). The reason I chose to discuss "The Statue of Liberty" because it is a symbol of freedom to many of those immigrants who had already or currently are migrated from their country to the USA. I believe "The Statue of Liberty" grant many immigrants freedom and does effect American culture in many positive or negative ways. When I look at The Statue of Liberty, it makes me stare at it for a while, is very appealing, and the structure of it makes me have an enthusiastic attiude.

Blog #15

I feel thats its pretty much the same as what Brookds wrote in his article "american Paradox" in 2001. There are still red and blue states. they have different ways of life. The red states are more live off the land kinda of people, and they dont rush life. The blue states are fast paced and rely alot of "chain" stores.

Post Blog # 16- Journal Entry on page 426

When a person is about to attend college or is currently attending, there are many effects- either positive or negative. When I attended Suffolk Count Community College in the fall of 2006, it was a very different atmosphere for me than my own high school. Friends and family are very significant when enrolling into a college because being able to meet more friends show that you want to continue getting to know more of them. I lived with my family because I do not dorm, but for those who do, they perhaps will call home everyday, when they have time, or even visit them. Attending Suffolk County Community College did have an effect on my relationship with my family and high school friends.
During college, being with the family changed completely than that of high school. In college, I am home less often, always tend to be doing work either in-bewween classes, or prior to the start of classes, and have less time to "help" at home. My fmaily is still in a good relationship with me and wish me to keep up the wonderful work. My parents, especially, always ask me if I am doing well in my classes, always look after me, and sometimes pay attention to see if I am doing all the work. My sister is always there for me if I need help in doing homework, especially English. College made my family focus more on how well I am doing in the classes, asking for help if needed, and being able to take my time and understanding the materials the professors teaches.
The first day I entered Suffolk County Community College, I realized that there were many of my high shcool friends who graduated with me in June 2006. I know all of the high school friends; however, being able to introduce myself to new friends was very simple. I still meet new buddies and go on with my life; on the other hand, I still have several high school buddies that are nice. I would try to introduce the new friends to my old friends and discuss variety of topics. Over the three semesters, I met many great friends here at Suffolk County Community College and still looking forward to remain friends with my high school ones.
There were many effects- either positive or negative- that influenced me when I attended college in the fall of 2006. College is a time when one cannot forget thier old friends; in that, they could remember all the fun times they had together. One who is outgoing, like me, tends to introduce themselves to new people. College also affect how one can dorm and live by the campus, while on the other hand, one can commute. I, however, commute to and from Suffolk County Community College and still have a close relationship with my family. I also meet new friends from my campus and sometimes introduce them to my old ones (high school friends).